Like this:

Alas, Shakespeare was NOT in love.

Shakespeare is a Renaissance man in a modern world. A video game designer during the day, he hides in coffee shops at night to work on his plays. As a hobby, the accredited playwright competes in triathalons during the weekends; so when he’s not transforming his daydreams into scenes, he’s out running, biking, and trying not to drown (swimming is his worst leg).

The juxtapositions swirling around one barrel-chested man were major selling points.  We also had a lot to talk about. But there’s more to romance than a good convo.  The mouth has other fabulous uses other than confabulation and one was practiced during a lunch date at a vegan* macrobiotic restaurant.

Broken down to its Greek roots, macro meaning large and bio meaning life, a macrobiotic diet is a way to a longer, grander life. According to webmd: “The macrobiotic diet regimen supports an Eastern philosophy of balancing foods to attain a balance of yin and yang. To achieve that balance, foods are paired based on their sour, sharp, salty, sweet, or bitter characteristics. Yin foods are cold, sweet, and passive while yang** foods are hot, salty, and aggressive.”

Like the perfect relationship between two people, a macrobiotic diet takes two halves to form one whole. It’s kind of romantic….NOT.

There’s nothing carnal about kale and chickpeas. Brown rice is not sexy even when spiced up with quinoa (keen-wah) and FYI, the childhood rhyme about a bean’s side effects is still true in your twenties.  Gastronomically speaking, nothing says “lets just be friends” more than a vegan macrobiotic lunch.

And even if we had discovered, prior to this platonic nooner, a more interesting use for our mouths, the experience doesn’t guarantee deeper explorations. Great kisses end, apparently, even if there’s still a lot to say.

* In case, you didn’t know (because I didn’t look into it until after this date) vegans abstain from all animal products (no eggs, dairy, honey, fur, etc.). It’s a lifestyle usually fueled by issues and concerns—social and ethical.  But as society has become more health conscious and as more copies of Skinny Bitch are sold, veganism has shrunk to its most basic and smaller self—just another diet, like Atkins or South Beach. End diatribe here.

**I was definitely the Yang in the relationship. (Insert Asian joke here)



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